what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
