I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
