Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
