this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
