I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
