Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
how can u be prego again
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
how does that bad decision feel?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
