You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
