found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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