Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
