: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
