but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
