Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
