take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
