Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
