i permit you to call me
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
