Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
