Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
