When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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