Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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