Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
