no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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