dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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