What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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