I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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