my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize