We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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