Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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