Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
