omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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