she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
