Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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