C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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