mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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