OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
