Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
