My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
