Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
