i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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