Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
