he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
