it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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