Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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