Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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