Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
