theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
