First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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