do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize