Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
