I hate all girls vehemently.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
