You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
