I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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