I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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