it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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