i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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