I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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