i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
