This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
