dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
