he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
