I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
